How to Get Your Kids to Pick Up After Themselves
Flip-flops peeking from under the couch, granola bar wrappers on the coffee table, vocabulary flash cards all over the breakfast bar, at least a billion hair ties scattered across every available surface. For many parents, this scene is all too familiar, especially during the summer months when, gasp, school is no longer in session.
Teaching your Minis to pick up after themselves seems like an uphill battle that you’d prefer to avoid, but Elaine Rose Glickman, author of Your Kid’s a Brat and It’s All Your Fault, has given us a few tips to make your dreams of a clean house and respectful kids a reality.
Stop nagging. Unless you are the one parent in recorded history for whom this technique works (you are not), quit issuing endless reminders to your kid that she’s left her stuff lying around and that you’d like for her to pick it up. She already knows this. She just doesn’t want to.
Quit doing your kid’s job. If you are telling your kid that she needs to clean up after herself, but her vocabulary flash cards are magically finding their way into her backpack and her frenzied search for flip-flops is quickly ended by your reminder that her favorite pair is under the couch, she has absolutely no incentive to change her ways. Step back and let your kid feel the consequences of being disorganized.
Consider “the Box.” I learned this technique from my grandmother, who did not hesitate to throw away any items that she felt had been left out for too long (school projects, half-eaten snacks, even my grandfather’s favorite sport coat- into the trash they all went). The Box is a much more forgiving, but still effective, tool. Simply get a large box and scoop into it everything that your kid leaves lying around. Don’t sort it, just dump it in. Warn your kid that this is going to happen. The specter of the Box may be all she needs to start taking better care of her things.
Set some guidelines. Soon enough, your kid will notice that her hair ties are not as immediately accessible as they had been and she will want them back. But don’t let her fish them out of the Box and prance off. Set guidelines for redeeming items from the Box. Maybe she has to wait three days before retrieving her things, or maybe she has to clean out the entire Box whenever she wants something from it. It will not be long before she dreads having her possessions swept into it and acts accordingly.
Remember your goal. The Box is about instilling in your kid the habits of cleaning up after herself, caring for her possessions, being a partner in the upkeep of your home- and understanding the consequences when she does not. To avoid upset, be sure to set them tasks that are easily achievable, instead of ones that you know they just won’t be able to do. company to do the workload for you. Not only does it save you time, but it allows you to set a chore for your child knowing that they can complete the job that is asked of them. If they don’t do it, they should expect a consequence. It’s not about upsetting her (“Your new sweater? Oh, it’s in the Box. I hope the carton of almond milk in there didn’t leak all over it!“) or treating her or her things disrespectfully. Stay firm, but also stay kind. After all, you probably leave a pair of flip-flops lying around once in a while, too.
You can purchase a copy of Glickman’s new book Your Kid’s a Brat and It’s All Your Fault here or stick around and read up on the Best Baby and Kids Sunscreens for Summer.
Opening Image: Emma Kepley for Mini Magazine